Welcome to Screen Shots! This is where I tell you what sporting events you should watch on TV every week! Make sure you subscribe, so it comes straight to your inbox! Have your own suggestions? Shoot me an email at [email protected]!

I’m cooking up some stuff for your viewing pleasure! College football season is on the way, so that means the return of the revamped college football show with me and P.D.! Also, I’ve got some Premier League stuff coming your way as we lean into soccer coverage! Now, to the sports!

Whoever decided to roll with the 11-12-year-old age group for this nationally broadcast tournament is a diabolical genius. Not only are they just skilled enough for the games to resemble how the game is meant to be played, but they’re also young enough to still believe that these will be the most important moments of their lives. Then, you sprinkle in the fact that this age range offers up the most variance in terms of emotional and physical development, and you get TV magic! I swear I saw a kid who looked like fat middle school me playing against a kid who looked like me at 45 when I was watching just the other day. You owe it to yourself to tap in for a couple of innings at least!

We are in the final game of Leagues Cup Phase One matches, and the Timbers need a W and some help to advance to the Knockout Round! Lucky for them, they’re playing a club that is already eliminated in front of a raucous home crowd. Can they pull it off?

You know who is not a diabolical genius? Whoever brought challenges to the Little League World Series? So much time was spent trying to figure out calls that the kids who looked like fat middle school me started turning into the kids who looked like me at 45. Neither the players nor the umps are skilled enough for the use of extensive replay. Let’s narrow the scope of what can be reviewed and accept the rest. School is about to start!

The Paige Bueckers-Caitlin Clark rivalry is necessary to divide the whites. Speaking of dividing whites, here’s a great video on how awful Sophie Cunningham has been on the court:

The Rams made a huge move this offseason by adding reigning Defensive Player of the Year Myles Garrett, who set the single-season record for sacks last year (17-game season, but still). By the time the regular season starts, he might be the second-best pass rusher on the team. Genetic freak Aaron Donald appears poised to unretire and rejoin the Rams. Thirteen players in the history of the NFL have officially recorded 20+ sacks in a season. Donald’s return would give Los Angeles two of them. Even if he plays half as many snaps as he did in his prime, how would you go about game-planning against this? Good luck, opposing offenses!

My hometown Battery hit the road to take on the Riverhounds in USL Championship action! I have a love-hate relationship with the Battery as they have been helpful in certain aspects of my growing media empire while also issuing me a media credential with a name that certainly isn’t mine (I believe it was Brad, which feels even more insulting). It’s always neat to see Charleston on TV for something other than racism, so tune in with me!

As you can tell, we are not fucking around with our soccer fandom anymore. This is for the English FA Community Shield, and pits the previous season’s Premier League champ versus the previous season’s FA Cup winner in what is described as a “curtain-raiser” for the upcoming Premier League season. As a reminder, Erling Haaland plays for Manchester City.

I regret to inform you that noted douchebag Pete Crow-Armstrong is still playing incredible baseball. The Cubs star hit a 437-foot bomb on Tuesday as the Cubs beat the Nationals to stay within striking distance of first-place Milwaukee in the NL Central. The news just keeps getting even worse for me, as FanDuel now has PCA as the favorite to win the NL MVP over Shohei. Somebody do something!

I’m going to be real, this game is only here because we rarely get a nationally televised game without the Fever, Aces, or Liberty in it. These are not playoff teams, but I believe that getting familiar with the players on teams like this in any sport is important for understanding (and enjoying!) the league as a whole!

Speaking of MLB awards, Tigers SS Kevin McGonigle has pretty much wrapped up the AL Rookie of the Year race. Baseball stats can get convoluted quickly, and the fact that there are two official Wins-Above-Replacement measures (fWAR and bWAR) is proof of that, but McGonigle is top-10 in both!

Speaking of more MLB awards, Paul Skenes is slated to get the start for the Pirates in this one. This will be the first year he doesn’t take home any MLB hardware. The 2024 NL Rookie of the Year and 2025 NL Cy Young Award winner has looked mostly average this season. His ERA is still slightly above league average, but nearly twice what it’s been for him in his first two seasons. A loss of velocity appears to be the culprit, but what’s causing that is a mystery. Hopefully he figures it out by the time the Dodgers get him!

It’s time for the Dream to cut the crap. As of this writing, they have lost 6 out of their last 7 games against playoff teams. That’s unacceptable for a team that many thought, myself included, should take the next step to being a legitimate title contender this season. I’ve complained about them a lot here, but not enough. Their talent matches up with the league’s best, but their intensity is inconsistent, which leads to everything else being inconsistent as well. It’s gotten to a point where another disappointing postseason performance can and should lead to a major roster move. Tap in and tell me who you’d trade!

You can talk youth sports without talking about ridiculous adults! The eligibility of a Tulsa team to play for the regional title that would send them to play in the LLWS has been decided in court, because where else would you decide youth sports stuff? A judge has ruled the team ineligible because the father of one of the players misrepresented another son’s age when registering him for the league that would allow the ineligible player to be eligible for this team. That’s even more confusing than WAR. ESPN should have put the cameras in these kids’ faces when the judge made his decision!

If you had these two teams as the best in the W this late in the season, I need you to email me with the Powerball numbers ASAP!

As always, thank you for reading! Make sure you’re subscribed so you get this in your inbox first thing Thursday mornings! Also, share with your friends! See you next week!