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The Miami Heat have finally landed another superstar in a blockbuster deal for Giannis! Does it make them a contender, or are Giannis’ best days, much like Blockbuster, behind him? Let’s talk about that, a former Laker on the move, and what’s going on atop the WNBA standings in this week’s episode!

Now, to the sports!

A heartbreaker in stoppage time cost Ivory Coast a shot at a Group E win, but they are still in a great position to advance. They do so with any result better than a draw combined with Ecuador beating Germany by two goals. Curaçao’s World Cup will most likely come to an end, but the tiny island nation scored its first point ever courtesy of a draw against Ecuador. Curaçao’s keeper, Eloy Room, had a record-tying 15 saves to make that happen. Catch them in action one last time, because they deserve it.

Sweden needs a win to move forward automatically, while Japan needs just a draw to not have to sweat out third-place math. It seems like the perfect time for Japan to play it safe, but I just can’t imagine such a thing. That could just be my affinity for Japanese authors talking. If you know any cool Swedish authors, let me know.

The USMNT has looked fantastic and will most likely rest their stars in this one. They’ve earned our attention, though, and we were planning on half-assing it at work on Friday anyway.

As if you needed more reason to half-ass it at work today. Kylian Mbappe versus Erling Haaland in a showdown between the world’s best strikers is the flashing neon sign headline here. Both have been brilliant so far, with 4 goals apiece. As if that wasn’t enough, this will decide who will win the group and have the more favorable draw moving forward.

Okay, we’re just getting acquainted with the NHL, and what better way than to check out the players who could shape the league’s future? Especially after I accidentally overlooked the NBA Draft in last week’s edition. The league’s website has pretty solid coverage of both team needs and some prospect stories, so check that out while you’re not doing work for the first half of today.

My new favorite team, Cape Verde, can continue its Cinderella run and advance to the next round with pretty much any result other than a loss here. Although it’s hard to imagine it being more exciting than their two draws, their first-ever World Cup win would be nice in addition to automatically putting them through. While Cape Verde still has a path to advance even with another draw, the Saudis need a win just to stay alive. Should be fun!

Don’t look now, but the Atlanta Dream’s offense is rolling. They’re currently on a 4-game winning streak and have scored at least 94 points in all four games, including a 113-point outburst against the Fever. This not-so-coincidentally coincides with Rhyne Howard’s best 4-game stretch of the season. Can Howard and the Dream keep it up against the league’s stingiest defensive team?

Egypt is the only team with a win in Group G, but most scenarios to advance are still alive for all four teams. I will be pulling for Iran in what is the smallest of all consolations after our idiot president decided to bomb them because he’s an idiot.

The Yankees have managed to climb back atop the AL East. Can they hold onto that top spot while several key players, including star Aaron Judge, are on the IL? More importantly, can they withstand Jazz Chisholm’s terrible ABS challenges? He’s taken the 3rd-most Ls in challenges with 11. Even worse for the Yankees, his Angel Hernandez-esque 27% challenge win rate is still way better than his batting average. And, even worse for Jazz, he got hit in the dick with a foul ball the other day. Tune in to see if he figures out the strike zone, or at least stops with the self-inflicting wounds!

Ghana held on for dear life to score a draw against England, thus proving my new theory that a draw can be nearly as exciting as a win. They have all but assured themselves a spot in the knockout round regardless of the result here, but another draw or better would be nice! A draw would also send Croatia through, but a loss would send them home, so it’ll be interesting to see how aggressively each side plays!

Each team still has a pathway through to the next round as a top 3rd-place finisher, but only if they win. We know how aggressively each side will have to be here: very!

Austria should advance if they don’t take the L here. Algeria needs a W to advance. Already a pretty big showing for Austria as they earned their first World Cup win since 1990. Can they keep it rolling?

A top rookie showdown! Lynx G Olivia Miles has been garnering All-WNBA buzz for her performance so far. Can Azzi Fudd and the Wings slow her down? Fudd’s been on a tear of her own as of late, reaching double figures in scoring in six straight games, including a season-best 26 points against the Storm on Monday night. Plenty of reason to be excited about the present, too, as both teams are in the top half of the league standings.

Knockout round time! As of right now, this could be South Korea vs. Switzerland.

Group F is a real toss-up, with Japan and the Netherlands tied in 1st place. Brazil should be the Group C winner.

Denis Undav scored 2 goals after subbing in against the Ivory Coast to win the group for the Germans. Whoever faces them should still use that game as a source of optimism, because they looked incredibly shaky up until that point.

Most likely Japan or the Netherlands against possibly Morocco, but still a lot to figure out in Group C.

Whoever doesn’t prevail in the much-anticipated France-Norway matchup will take on the Ivory Coast, probably.

Whoever does prevail in the much-anticipated France-Norway matchup will take on someone, certainly.

Co-host Mexico breezed to two relatively stress-free wins in front of the home crowd. The big story from them is whether or not legendary goalie Memo Ochoa will see any action in their meaningless final group stage game. If it were up to me, he would.

Not even I am bold enough to guess who we might see here. The odds say England for Group L, though!

Egypt is in the driver’s seat in Group G. That’s the best I can do at the moment.

There was some noise surrounding Brewers P Jacob Misiorowski’s All-Star selection last season, specifically that the then-rookie hadn’t pitched enough to earn the injury replacement spot (even though at least 12 other pitchers turned it down). Safe to say, that will not be a talking point this season. Misiorowski, who is slated to start this one, currently leads the majors in ERA (1.45), WHIP (0.753), and strikeouts (138). He does it by being the hardest-throwing starter in the majors (probably) ever. Misiorowski pretty much sets a new velocity record every outing. Don’t miss the next one!

Is this the most optimistic we’ve collectively felt about US men’s soccer ever? They’ve looked like they belong in the conversation with the world’s elite. I can’t wait for them to manage to disappoint me. Gamecocks football has prepared me for this!

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